Home » Uncategorized » 31st Jan 2017 / 2 years 192days – Sabotaging My Own Healing

31st Jan 2017 / 2 years 192days – Sabotaging My Own Healing

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  • Itchiness: Severe
  • Flaking : Minimal
  • Burning skin: Moderate
  • Redness: Limbs
  • Soreness : Hands, limbs
  • Weeping skin : Limbs, Hands
  • Mood : Unforgiving

When I have no support whatsoever
When I cannot do the right treatment
When I cannot even launder my bandages properly
Healing itches
Then I destroy and setback the healing
I itch, I suffer, I hate
I m so alone

31Jan2017 itchy healing

31Jan2017 itchy healing

img_4905

I am not asking for advices
I just need some prayers

So much bitterness, I cannot lay my eyes on her or her son who resembles her, and my child who in turn resembles his dad and loves her. I no longer see possibility of claiming back my place in my home. I see her, i feel like throwing up. Any physical contact, I irk. She treated me with disgust infront of domestic helper and child, I do the same.

Good advice received: What is the most important role of a parent? To teach your children the right way and to be happy. Sometimes the right way is not the conventional way.

But it matters to me, that parents cannot accept anything other than the conventional way. It matters to me if they feel as if I disgrace them.

 

 

SKIN UPDATE

The TCM is still working well, I saw progress especially in my hands

26Jan17 - first time i see complete healing at side of palm..... only to destroy today 31/1/17

26Jan17 – first time i see complete healing at side of palm….. only to destroy today 31/1/17

img_4815 img_4816 img_4817

then today I had to scratch and sabotage my own healing

I could have faster healing if I am allowed to concentrate on it. Been a month, sticking to it another one. Hope to see persistent healing amidst all the self-sabotaging caused by all my crazy scratching.

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2 Comments

  1. Itchyface says:

    Just chanced upon this blog. You are a very brave person, dealing with all the uncertainties which go along with your condition and the pressures of being a mum, wife and Daughter-in-law. Whatever decisions you take, I hope that you will find a sense of peace inside you.

    Like

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