- Itchiness: Intense
- Flaking : Very mild
- Burning skin: None noted
- Redness: Mild
- Soreness : Mild
- Weeping skin : Groin, feet, calf
- Mood : Driven, a little scared
I mentioned in my last post I have all these dark spots increasingly appearing all over my legs and arms, which no TSW warriors can identify with.
Also, I have these pustules, new ones every day!!! I drain them sometimes, that doesn’t help tho. Just worried if I have infection. These are itchy. One warrior recognized them as ooze blisters. That eased my worries.
Another symptom that keeps increasing for the last month was what I call “blood sacs”. They appear in cracks of the skin (e.g. palm lines, wrists lines, etc). And they easily pop with blood oozing out. These are not itchy but they actually hurt. Its like your skin is stretched to form these sacs. I don’t have these as much as I have the above pustules.
In my first 3 months when I was at my worst so far, I didn’t take much pictures because:
1. you simply do not have much energy at all as your efforts (more mental than physical) are spent on trying to fight against the itch. Also my hands were ALWAYS scratching / holding on to ice packs / rubbing everywhere. The itch was so ridiculously intense I couldn’t and didn’t want to take my hands off to do anything else. Even typing a sms takes me more time and effort than usual. I type one word, scratch 3 mins, type another word, scratch another 3 mins….. and so on….. Itch attacks could last me 3 hours every morning. I realised this only recently, as I suddenly marvelled at how fast and well I am replying sms to my friends, compared to months ago. I do still get itch attacks tho …. but significantly shorter……
2. you do not really wish to see yourself in the mirror, much less take pictures of your bad skin. Actually I didn’t really look in the mirror to see myself much for the 1st 2 months. Even if I did, I only looked at a specific part, not at my body as a whole. I dare not.
3. with my hands always oily with paraffin / coconut oil/ egyptian cream/ Calendula cream, my phone camera is always blur. To add on to that effect is my shivering that lasts 2/3 hours everyday. I couldn’t take much acceptable pictures. That explains the quality of whatever pictures posted then.
4. my symptoms were simply pretty mild compared to others going through TSW. So to my friends who are worried about me: No I am not suffering as badly as those in the links I posted. I actually do not look as scary. If people stare at me its the elephant skin or the black marks on my legs. I am just really thin now. I lost all the weight until last month as I have extreme fear that anything I put in my mouth can trigger a reaction or start another itch attack.
I was thinking of hypnotherapy to fight the itch sometime. Hmmm…… Meanwhile, still practising to stay positive every single day. I can do this, I will past this month well with no symptoms, and I will be able to move back to Clementi be with my baby boy…… I must think this way.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!